Monday, November 21, 2011


When I was in college, I wrote for our bi-weekly school paper.  I started off with various Arts articles like music reviews and more music reviews, but eventually parlayed it into my own column filled with incessant rambling on my topic of choice.  Nowadays, I have this blog.

My senior year, I decided to write something Thanksgiving related for the issue before the holiday weekend.  I think I was in a rush to start finish it--I had flights and turkey on the mind, after all--so the piece started pretty awkwardly and got worse as the word count mounted.

Here are the parts that I think are still applicable:

I haven’t seen my own family since September.  For that reason, I look forward to Thanksgiving not for the comfort of sleeping in an adult-sized bed, not to collect my winter wardrobe, not even for the food, but for the family bonding.  The delicious, gravy-smothered family bonding.

Look, just because I show up with a fork and knife in hand doesn’t mean my eagerness to return home is selfish.  My parents enjoy feeding me and catching up on my life.   Upon dropping me off this year, they came upon a flyer promoting Sexual Assault Awareness Day.  Events like this help remind them that there was a time in their lives, decades ago, when they too believed that not only would they Increase Awareness of Sexual Assault, but also End War and Eliminate Racism.  Alternatively, my premature bitterness and life goal to Do Laundry reminds them to stay young and, as my father has taken to saying, “keep it real.”

Things have obviously changed since college.  My hair is longer and I no longer have a meal plan.  Also, this year I will be spending Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family in Ohio.  Not only is this the first time I will be celebrating away from home, without my own family, it's the first time I'm going to meet most of his.  Gulp.

I was told there would be pie.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Call me cupcake

Everyone likes to see the decay of a superstar.  Take Britney.  Or Lindsay.  Or, to avoid being completely sexist, Tiger.

Me?  I'm looking forward to the fall of the cupcake.  Look, I have nothing against mini-desserts.  I live for Reese's peanut butter cups and those sea salt brownie bites at Trader Joe's.  But if I want cake, I'll have it sliced, on a plate, with a fork and a proper frosting ratio.  Like a mother fucking adult.

Besides, these things are expensive to buy, and I am unemployed.  For the four dollar price of a cupcake, I could get an 18 oz. coffee with an extra shot.  Or two glazed donuts.  Or a million McNuggets.

So even though I would not typically post something this mundane, I couldn't help testing the red velvet recipe in my Miette cookbook.  Their cupcakes are decorated the old-fashioned way with a meticulously formed glossy mound of boiled icing, topped with a Boston Baked Bean candy.  They're so perfect, they don't look real.  I had to try it out myself, substituting with cream cheese frosting and the discs used by Sprinkles.

I'll spare you photos of the process since red gel food coloring is wretched, staining stuff and will make any kitchen look like a crime scene.

Here's hoping that the "next cupcake" will be soft pretzels.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Asparagus gruyere tart

Asparagus gruyere tart.  So easy, so delicious, so impressive that it's worth the weird pee side effect.