Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Monodramatic

I don't make very good first impressions, so why don't we skip the formalities, the drunken hookup, the awkward morning-after, when you wake up to find me (and a box of your cereal) gone? We can jump right ahead to our now platonic friendship, in which that night is already something we joke about, and we feel like we've known each other forever.

Let’s pretend you already know I’ve just graduated from law school. That three years out of college, I still don't have my bearings. You know, of course, that despite my degree, I want to be a DJ slash attorney, and not the other way around. You’re familiar with my fondness for whiskey, my penchant for lists, and that I bake for looks primarily, not taste. That I like to quote rap lyrics ironically. That my dad is crazy (the good kind) and that my mom is too (the mom kind). That I idolize Ina Garten but would be Anthony Bourdain any day. That Shark Week is right up there with Christmas, my favorite food is soup, and I pray to the god that invented Gmail. That I’m a neat freak, a gadget freak, and most importantly, a DIY freak.

That this blog is one part shopping, one part baking, two parts recycled, self-plagiarized posts, and a lot of filler for the void Facebook created when I joined the Real World and it stopped being all about me and more about "Jill is...just signed her first mortgage!"

How you like me now?

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