Monday, September 26, 2011

Look at that fucking trust fund

I was on gchat the other day, catching up with someone from college.  Hipster Dan, let's call him, because that's actually what we did call him.  He lives in Brooklyn now where he still plays bass, manages an American Apparel, promotes his band, listens to b-sides, scouts venues, remixes, band band band...he's in a baaaand.

So while I'm passively letting him complain about his finances--I'm fine, Hipster Dan, thanks for asking--it occurs to me: you'd better be rolling in it to keep up with this lifestyle.  Concerts, record collecting, tech gadgets, a carbon bike--it gets expensive.  I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but really, are hipsters the ones with feelings?  Or are those exclusively for emo kids?  It's hip to be nihilist, right?  I can't keep up with you kids and your rock and roll music.  Youtube.

At any rate, I felt compelled to make a collage board of hipster consumerism because this screen capture program is cool and so is Hipster Dan.  Let's break down the basics:



1. Chan Luu sterling silver wrap bracelet to go with your festival wristbands, $195
2. Super "Ciccio" glasses, non-prescription, of course, $140
3. Apple iPad to manage your tumblr, starts at $499
4. Pendleton for Opening Ceremony military jacket to stand out from the poseurs, reduced from $925 to a mere $278!
5. Leica M9 camera for blogging, $6995
6. Marlboro Red cigarettes to be accepted, $20.59/carton/week
7. Thom Browne plaid scarf to stay warm when using #6, $240
8. JanSport "Westridge" backpack to hold your novel and English degree ego, $200

Oh, but what about a beanie, Laura?  No headphones?  Some limited edition dunks overnighted from Japan, maybe ? Look, these are just some of the basics, and you can't buy everything at once.  God, it's like you're actually trying.

Plus, cocaine is like, really freakin' expensive, man.

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